• You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

• Turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones.

• You read the obituaries to find eligible women.

• Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.

• Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

• The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

• A beautiful girl walks by and nothing happens.
  
• You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.
• You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
• All the names in your little black book end with MD (mentally deficient).

hmmm i have checked for my self and glad i am still young