Author Topic: General Jokes  (Read 2014 times)

Offline bobxing

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 1213
  • -Receive: 1283
  • Join Date: Jun 2009
  • Posts: 1775
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 1288
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #24 on: November 09, 2010, 01:24:22 PM »
Translation and Advertisement
 The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"

Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "Manure Stick."

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I Saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).

Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.

Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.

Hunt-Wesson introduced Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos. Later they found out that in slang it means "big breasts".

Bank Caixa Econ�mica Federal in Brazil offered in an advertisment "HOT MONEY" (in english), obviously unaware of the fact that hot money means "Stolen Money" in normal slang.

The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole", translating into "happiness in the mouth."

When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you."The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant"

Offline thanthan

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 178
  • -Receive: 39
  • Join Date: Dec 2008
  • Posts: 154
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 401
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #25 on: November 11, 2010, 10:29:32 AM »
they are nice ones. thanks buddy

No. 1 Bollywood Masala Forum

Re: General Jokes
« Reply #25 on: November 11, 2010, 10:29:32 AM »

Offline bobxing

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 1213
  • -Receive: 1283
  • Join Date: Jun 2009
  • Posts: 1775
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 1288
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #26 on: November 15, 2010, 02:11:45 AM »
There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."
The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."
The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."
The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question.
The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."
The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"

Offline bobxing

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 1213
  • -Receive: 1283
  • Join Date: Jun 2009
  • Posts: 1775
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 1288
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #27 on: November 15, 2010, 02:17:53 AM »
A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: "Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

No. 1 Bollywood Masala Forum

Re: General Jokes
« Reply #27 on: November 15, 2010, 02:17:53 AM »

Offline bobxing

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 1213
  • -Receive: 1283
  • Join Date: Jun 2009
  • Posts: 1775
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 1288
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #28 on: November 15, 2010, 02:18:13 AM »
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an accountant joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 225 pounds, and he's an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, I don't want to have to explain it two times."

Offline bobxing

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 1213
  • -Receive: 1283
  • Join Date: Jun 2009
  • Posts: 1775
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 1288
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #29 on: November 15, 2010, 02:18:29 AM »
A patient was at her doctor's office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live."

The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Marry an accountant."

"Will that make me live longer?" asked the patient.

"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."

No. 1 Bollywood Masala Forum

Re: General Jokes
« Reply #29 on: November 15, 2010, 02:18:29 AM »

Offline bobxing

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 1213
  • -Receive: 1283
  • Join Date: Jun 2009
  • Posts: 1775
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 1288
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #30 on: November 15, 2010, 02:19:02 AM »
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."

"Have you tried counting sheep?"

"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."

Offline bobxing

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Thank You
  • -Given: 1213
  • -Receive: 1283
  • Join Date: Jun 2009
  • Posts: 1775
  • Activity:
    0%
  • Karma: 1288
Re: General Jokes
« Reply #31 on: November 15, 2010, 02:19:26 AM »
An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: "This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old".
"Where did you get this exact information?"
"I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old."